Don't adjust your television sets folks, you're still on the same channel. That's right I've got a new name, but the same great taste!

...wait... didn't think that one through properly....



Anyway, I've been wanting to change my journal name for a year+ now and I've finally found a name I like. (that isn't already being used) So groovy_walls is now paraph!

-because some taxpayers belong to religions that don't believe in using it, that's fine. But we have to change a few other things to make it fair.

  1. Dear people on food stamps, no more Mr. Piggy.
You will no longer be able to use said food stamps to buy any product containing pork. Some religious groups, including Muslims and Jews don't believe in eating pork and they pay taxes that help pay for your food stamps.

  2. No more healthcare. None. At all.
Other religions such as the Jehovas Witness and those who follow Scientology don't believe in most modern medical practices or their use. It goes against their religion, so no more healthcare for you. This includes dental and vaccinations you and your family might "need."

  3. Have government assistance for your heating costs?
Either switch to a wood burning stove or kiss it goodbye. The Amish pay taxes too and they don't believe in using electricity and other modern technologies.


Anyone have some other examples they'd like to add?

Yes, I have a problem with Sherlock Holmes's Watson being a woman and not because I think women can't be strong lead characters.

Why then? Really when you stop and think about it, there are only so many reason that they could have chosen to do this. Namely-

1. The writers of Elementary don’t know how to create and maintain underlying character conflict without sexual tension between the two leads. E.g. Castle, Bones, House and every other show on American television. Will they get together? Will they make out? DUN DUN DUN
2. They’re afraid their two leads will be perceived as gay, because let’s face it, US TV audiences still aren’t entirely comfortable with that unless it’s as camp, comic relief characters and CBS doesn't have the brains to embrace that and have fun with it the way the BBC did.
3. They thought the show needed a token “STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER” aka, a token pair of tits to stare at and help affirm Holmes's socially acceptable heterosexuality.    

Now I have no objection to ogling Lucy Liu, but it’s option C that seems most likely and really has me pissed.

Is there any mention of JOAN Watson being an ex-military doctor, back from the war? (which could be fun and yes, rather hot) Noooo, she’s a surgeon. A surgeon who lost her license after one of her patients died and I’ll bet the farm that part of the plotline, if not the whole pilot episode will be about how said patient dying wasn’t her fault.
She’ll have been framed or set up or what have you and it will be up to genius junkie Gregory House Sherlock Holmes to clear her name and restore her to good graces. Though not before we’ve had a good smattering of dead-guy-on-the-operating-table-accompanied-by-flat-lining-heart-monitor-flashbacks and nightmares, so Lucy Liu can lie in bed, sweaty and chest heaving.

Really, we need gifs of Miller and Liu with these captions:
Holmes: You’re a doctor. In fact, you’re a surgeon.
Watson:Yes.
Holmes: Any good?
Watson: *crying* I KILLED A MAN

If the American Sherlock needs a set of boobs in the script that desperately, why don't we just have lady!Jon and lady!Sherlock and they can be a hip, classy lesbian couple. Oh and Watson can be an ex-military chick who kicks ass and takes no prisoners, but got discharged for being found out as gay when Don't Ask, Don't Tell was still in use.

Bam! Character conflict!
There you go CBS, five minutes of thinking and I've got a more interesting show concept than you.

In the end, the only thing elementary about “Elementary,” is giving it a pass. Thanks CBS, but no thanks.

So over the weekend I decided to take a few hours and catch up on some fic recs and I ended up reading an AU Sherlock fic Two Two One Bravo Baker, which is soldier John and civilian Sherlock in Iraq, pre-A Study in Pink and supposed to be "OMG awesome."
It was okay, aside from the writer's compulsion to put a sex scene in every godforsaken chapter- after the third, I just started skimming, because (unless one of them was going drop dead of a heart attack mid-humping) clearly, there was nothing new to see there. So okay, all good, a few hours very mindlessly killed. 

But then today over lunch Dustin, for some inexplicable reason (I can't for the life of me remember how we got on the topic), starts telling me about the British army's military issue, antimicrobial underwear, which in a pinch, can be worn for up to two months without being washed. 

I just couldn't help myself, I made it half way through his explanation before I was laughing so hard I was crying.

  
It makes me happy~ Oh so happy~
And so I take pointless photos of myself making silly faces to celebrate xD